Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Parenthood, someone once said, is a great equalizer. No matter who you thought you were before or how prepared you thought you were, dealing with the first months and years of a newborn can be infinitely more frustrating than you expected.

While American book shelves are filled with tomes by learned pediatricians and others, a recent BBC news feature offers some brilliant if offbeat no-nonsense tips for new parents from Brits who’ve been there and done that:

Be realistic – It’s normal, when pregnant, to think, "this baby is going to fit in to our life and we'll carry on as normal." Don't believe a word of it. Your life for the next two years, at least, may begin to feel like a hangover: not enough sleep, judgment even you question, and lots of small crises to field. Keep the top end fed, the bottom end clean, and give the child all the love you can manage. The hangover will pass.

Trust yourself – You will make mistakes, but your child will be okay if your trust your own best instincts. Understand that some of your cherished ideals – i.e., you won’t give them a pacifier to calm them down, you will let them cry themselves to sleep – will go by the wayside as you search for the means that work for you.

Take a first aid course – Accidents happen, and feeling competent to deal with burns, choking, and other scary incidents will help keep you calm when they do.

Take your life back – It’s tough to leave your baby for the first time, but bite the bullet and leave the precious bundle with a trusted baby sitter (grandparent?) as soon as possible while you go out for dinner with your spouse, or by yourself for at least an hour. And accept all offers to change diapers.

Be good to yourself – People who understand what you’ve been going through will offer empathy, a little respite, or an occasional meal instead of advice. Accept it. Nap when the baby does…and understand that much of your daily frustration can be eased with a little extra breast milk for baby and a bit of dark chocolate for you.

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